Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
