brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's intense
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
