I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the condom got lost in my hair
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am available for nakedness
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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