I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
