the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My ATM looks so different sober.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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