She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
