He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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