3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
