is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she pinky promised me she was 18
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
