I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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