At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
