I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My ass is underappreciated
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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