forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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