you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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