my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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