a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
