He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
