We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
