the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
