I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
