apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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