im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
