i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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