are you still at the devil's house?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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