why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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