have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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