how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There r osticjed everywhere
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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