It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize