i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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