I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I could fuck to npr.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
