what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
