Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
