I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just took my morning after pill in the library
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
