i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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