I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
