life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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