New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
