i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
