She's JV to your varsity
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
