This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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