i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
from now on my penis is your penis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
