Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
