don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
