It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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