Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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