How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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