We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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