some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
