Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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