don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
