wanna go halves on a baby?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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