stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
